How can I support my child when they don’t think they need it?

Keeping an open, productive dialogue with a young person who is struggling with their mental health but can't see it can be challenging. Here are 3 tips for how to offer support:

1. Find a shared goal

A shared goal refers to something that you and your loved one can agree on. For example, maybe you both want them to feel like themselves again, or maybe you both agree that getting back to school is a priority.

You may not agree on the best way to get to that shared goal, but starting the conversation there is a great place to start. Continue to talk through the different routes for reaching this goal while also trying to understand their perspective. It's important to listen intently without judgement or expectation and realize that it's okay to disagree.

2. Normalize and (try to) relate

It's important to remember that mental health exists on a spectrum with a wide range of severity and resulting distress associated with ill-mental health. For example, young people in the early stages of a mental health condition may have a hard time sleeping or paying attention -- something many of us can relate to, particularly when we're stressed. Try drawing on these experiences to relate to more severe symptoms, such as an inability to get out of bed or a debilitating panic attack.

3. Inquire curiously, and make a plan for a next step together

Build trust and mutual respect with your loved one by asking questions with genuine curiosity. Sometimes, asking for permission to ask questions to help you better understand their experiences and viewpoints and help disarm them and grow their willingness to share with you. It's also okay not to have an answer, or solution, or response to everything they say. Sometimes, just acknowledging that you heard them is enough.

Once you're ready to make a plan, remind them that you're a team with a shared goal. For example, you might ask "What can I do to support you so that you can [work toward our shared goal]?" Sometimes an in-between step prior to speaking to a professional might be speaking or even texting with another trusted ally, such as a school counselor, a teacher, another family member, or a friend.